Priceless Ink

1st chapter

Joe…

“You have to turn the couch sideways,” Andrew snapped at me. 

I glared at him and kept walking up the stairs the same fucking way, just because I could. Why the hell had I ever agreed to let him live with me? He was such a pain in the ass, always bossing me around because he was older than me by a year and a half. It didn’t matter that I bought the tattoo shop and the apartment above it that he now lived in. No, he just had to do his best to piss me off every fucking day.

“Fuck off,” I said, still pushing the couch up the stairs to the point that he almost fell backwards on his ass.

“You suck at this.”

“Yeah? Well, you suck too.”

“Ooh, good comeback.”

I gave the couch an extra hard shove and sent him tripping up the stairs. In retaliation, he shoved it back, sending me flying down the stairs. I grabbed the banister at the last second and yanked myself up in the air, narrowly avoiding being trampled by my own damn couch. Andrew on the other hand, went flying down the stairs, landing in a heap on top of the couch. 

“Nice job, asshole.”

He laid there breathing heavily, not able to come up with anything to say.

“So, now that you’ve shoved the couch down the stairs, what’s your brilliant plan to get it upstairs?”

He twisted his head to look back at me. “We could always call Eric.”

I groaned. “No, I don’t need a lecture right now.”

“Then Robert.”

I snorted. “Yeah, he might get dirty, and then we’d have to pay for the dry-cleaning bill. I’m not that rich.”

“Well, Josh is busy.”

“He’s not busy. He just wants everyone to think he’s busy so we’ll leave him alone.”

Andrew grunted in agreement. It was true. Josh thought if he stuck his head in the sand long enough, the whole town would forget about his part in the death of Jack’s wife. But since Jack was the town sheriff, and everyone loved him and Natalie, it wasn’t very likely they were going to forget anytime soon. Josh just didn’t seem to get that nobody actually blamed him and Carly for Natalie’s death. In time, he would see that.

“I say we call Josh and make him get his ass over here.” I pulled out my phone and dialed his number, listening to it ring over and over again. When it went to voicemail, I dialed again. And then again, and then again. Finally, on the fifth call, he answered.

“You know, when someone doesn’t answer, it’s usually because they’re busy or they just don’t want to talk to you.”

“Hey, you had seven years to not talk to me. You can take my calls now,” I shot back.

He sighed heavily on the other end. “How long am I going to have to hear that shit?”

“It’s a seven year crime, so at least seven years per year you were absent.”

“Where do you get that shit from?”

“It’s just logical.”

“Yeah, just about as much as that Millennial speak you and Andrew have.”

“Hey, do you hear me saying anything that sounds like a Millennial?”

“Doesn’t matter. I can see you through the phone, wearing your hipster pants and your fucking purple shirt.”

“That’s Andrew, and he doesn’t wear that shit anymore.”

“Are you gonna tell me why you called or are you just gonna give me shit for the next five minutes?”

“Well, I thought I’d get at least another three minutes in.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Andrew and I need you to come over and help us move furniture into the apartment.”

“I’m busy.”

He hung up without another word. I nodded as I lowered the phone. 

“So, I take it he said no,” Andrew laughed.

“Doesn’t matter. We have two other brothers in town.”

“So, you’re just going to forget about Josh?”

“No,” I laughed, “I’m gonna call them and make them call Josh until he gets his ass over here.”

I dialed Eric and pulled the same shit with him until he answered his phone. “What?” he snapped.

“Josh is ignoring me.”

“That’s too bad. You should call Ma and complain.”

“Why would I do that when I have you here?”

“Look, I’m in the middle of something very important.”

“No, you’re not. You’re fucking Kat.”

“And that’s very important.”

“Are you meaning to tell me that you getting laid is more important than your brother, who is drowning in guilt, sitting across town and pouting?”

I waited for a minute and grinned when he answered. “Fine.”

He hung up and I waited. I sat down on the couch, making Andrew slide further down since half the couch was still on the stairs. He smacked me in the face and I smacked him back. 

“You’re such an asshole,” he grumbled.

“If you knew how to walk and chew gum at the same time, we wouldn’t be sitting on our asses right now, waiting for someone to bail us out.”

“You were the one that couldn’t figure out how to carry a couch up the stairs.”

“You were the one that shoved me down the stairs.”

The bickering went on for another ten minutes before the door finally swung open and all three of my brothers walked in, each staring at us with scowls on their faces.

“Why’d you have to bring the suit?” I asked Eric.

“Hey, do you see me in a suit? I haven’t worn a suit in six months,” Robert snapped.

“Not true, you wore a suit back in April.”

“That was to Alessa’s christening.”

“Whatever, you still wore one.”

I loved to irritate the hell out of him. It was the charm of having a brother.

“So, what are we doing here?” Eric asked, ready to get to work.

“Well, we were carrying the couch upstairs when this genius,” I pointed at Andrew, “shoved me down the stairs.”

“That’s not funny,” Eric said sternly. “Someone could have been seriously injured. Do you have any idea what could have happened to him? He could have ended up in the hospital. You could have killed him.”

“Yes, Dad,” Andrew snorted. 

“Not to mention that this happened at a business establishment and all the mess that could have caused,” Eric continued. 

I rolled my eyes and stood, slapping him on the shoulder. “Alright, Hunty. I think we got the point.”

“Hey, you called me.”

“Yeah, because I wanted you to call Josh and make him come over.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t want my help?”

“Not if you’re going to act like my dad instead of my brother,” I grumbled.

“If you only wanted Josh, then what the hell am I doing here?” Robert asked.

“I don’t know, did you bring Anna along?”

“Why?”

“Because she’s the only one with balls in your relationship.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I wear the pants at least forty-five percent of the time in our relationship.”

Josh laughed. “That’s not something to be proud of.”

“Yeah? Like Carly couldn’t kick your ass at any time?” Robert retorted.

“That’s different. She’s from the fucking mafia.”

“Again, not something to be proud of.”

Josh glared at him, so I figured this was a good time to get this party started. “Anyway, we need to haul this upstairs, around that tight corner, and into the apartment.”

“Seriously? You couldn’t do this on your own?” Robert huffed.

“No, Mr. Five Hundred Dollar Shoes. We couldn’t do it ourselves.”

Robert threw his hands up in the air. “It’s been over six months! Give me a fucking break!”

“Can we just get this done?” Eric snapped. “Some of us have other things to do today.”

“Fucking your fiancé is no excuse for not helping your brothers,” Andrew said.

Twenty minutes later, we had the couch and most of the other furniture moved into the apartment. 

“So, anyone want pizza? I’m buying.” Eric, Robert, and Josh all shook their heads and walked out the door. “Well, that’s just fucking rude.”

“So, it’s just the single men now,” Andrew grinned, flopping down on the slightly tattered couch. It was old, but still in good condition. Well, for single guys, anyway.

I glared at his dirty shoes on the table. “I’d rather be alone.”

“Yeah, I get it, so you can do your single guy thing.”

I frowned, unsure of what he was talking about. “What single guy thing?”

“Oh, come on,” he rolled his eyes. “Do you think I don’t hear you in there every night spanking the monkey? I’m telling you, if you ever find a woman again, I’ll be surprised if I ever hear her over you. I had no idea you were so vocal.”

“What do you mean if I ever get a woman again? I have no problems getting women.”

“You didn’t use to, but it’s been months. Does your dick even work anymore?”

“Shut up. It hasn’t been that long. And it’s creepy that you think you know. Are you marking off days on the calendar?”

“Hey, it makes no difference to me. I’m just saying, if you don’t use it, you’re gonna lose it.”

“So sorry, but some of us can’t go out and just chase pussy all the time. We have to actually work for a living.”

“I do work.”

“You’re a hacker!”

“And you’re a tattoo artist. What’s your point?”

“One of us could go to jail for our chosen occupation. Here’s a hint: it’s not me.”

“I’ll have you know that I’ve become a sort of gumshoe.”

“A what?”

“A gumshoe.”

“I know what the hell a gumshoe is, but I don’t see you out there chasing down crimes.”

“I chase down internet crimes. They call me the hacker of all trades. Get it?” I stared at his grinning face, trying not to laugh at him. “Like a jack of all trades, except I’m a hacker.”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I got it.”

“Fire, am I right?”

“Oh, it’s something alright.”

He glared at me and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re just jealous.”

“You’re right,” I snorted. “Jealous of the hacker of all trades.”

I barely saw his fist coming, but I definitely felt it slam into my face.