Cap

The security guards were getting closer, but I almost had the lock open on Victor Adams’ drawer. Every footstep closer had me cursing myself for setting down my gun. My fingers worked furiously to get the lock open, but it just wouldn’t budge.
“Come on, come on,” I muttered as I tried my damndest to get the lock to turn.
“What the fuck? There’s someone in Mr. Adams’ office,” I heard someone say as a radio squawked.
I jumped in surprise and banged my head into the desk, even though I had heard his footsteps echoing down the hall to alert me he was coming. The lock pic dropped to the floor and I swore as a bullet pinged near the desk. I could see a pair of shoes coming around the desk, so I quickly shoved the rolling desk chair into his legs and scrambled out from behind the desk as he fell over the chair and hit the floor. I momentarily stopped, thinking I should go back for my gun, but then I saw another man running down the hall and took off.
Shots fired behind me and had me zig zagging down the hall. When a figure stepped out in front of me, I hesitated for a moment and then my shoulders slumped in irritation when I saw it was Sebastian. Of course it was. Why did I think I could get away from him for even a few weeks? I took off at a sprint toward him and then saw Sinner was with him. They were like the Bobbsie Twins. Where one was, so was the other. Dammit, this was going to make for one hell of a trip.

✯✯✯✯✯

I was just stepping out of the hotel to go down to breakfast when Sebastian stepped up and pushed me back into my room, slamming the door behind him.
“What the hell were you thinking last night?”
“What was I thinking? I was thinking that this used to be my job! In case you don’t remember, I was an investigative reporter before I met you,” I sneered.
“That’s not your job now. You told me that you would work with Becky, but you keep trying to go out and chase down more stories.”
“I get bored.”
“Then talk to me! Tell me what you need,” he yelled. “Every time you run out on me, I worry that it’ll be the last time I see you.”
“And you think I don’t worry about the same thing?”
“It’s different. You knew this was my job when you met me.”
“You knew I was an investigative reporter. Did you think that I would just lose all desire to do my job? I told you I would want to do some occasional field work. I’ve stayed away from it as much as possible, but you have to give me some space.”
He paced the hotel room and ran a hand over his short beard. He was still as sexy today as the day I met him. He had been doing a little more field work since Derek and Sam had stepped up and helped him out on the administrative side of things. He was a little leaner and his muscles were a little bigger, but he was still the same lethal man I met two years ago. When he stopped pacing and turned to me, his chocolate brown eyes pierced through me and had me melting just a little in front of him, but I couldn’t let him take this from me.
“I can’t keep doing this with you, Sebastian. You don’t give me any room to do what I love.”
He was up next to me a second later, crowding me against the wall. “Why can’t it be like before?” he whispered. “Why can’t you trust me and take me with you when you need to do something like this? We used to be so good together.”
My heart thudded in my chest as he ran the tip of his nose along my cheek and down my neck. The scruff of his beard scratched my skin and sent shivers down my spine.
“I..I would, but you don’t trust me.”
“Of course I trust you.”
I put my hand on his chest and pushed him back enough so I could look into his eyes. “Then why did you put a chip in me?”
His eyes searched mine and his thumb caressed the corner of my mouth. “Because I love you.” He shook his head slightly. “I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you. I know I can’t keep you on a leash, but I’m terrified that you’ll get yourself into some mess that I can’t get you out of.”
I reached up and ran a hand along his beard. “I love you, too, but I can’t be tracked like a dog.”
He nodded slightly, “I’ll take it out, but I need you to promise that you’ll come to me when you want to do something crazy. I want to be there with you and work with you.”
“Sebastian, you can’t be with me twenty-four seven.”
“I know, but I need you to give me something here. Give me something to let me know that I don’t have to worry about you,” he pleaded.
“And what are you going to give me?” I asked as his face morphed into confusion. We had been together for over two years now and we were no closer to planning a future together than we were when I decided to move here. It’s what had me running out on my own again. I felt like I was losing myself at Reed Security. I had given up my job to move here and be with him. I had taken a job that wasn’t nearly as stimulating as my last because I wanted to live with him. He couldn’t see that I needed more and I didn’t want to have to ask for it.
A banging on the door had me jumping slightly. “Hey, let’s go get breakfast so we can head over to the airport,” Sinner shouted through the door.
Sebastian took a step back and glanced at the watch on his wrist. “Let’s talk about this when we get home.”
I nodded, but I knew this conversation would be avoided again when we got home. I had been trying to talk about our issues for months now, but Sebastian either didn’t seem to think we had any or he was ignoring them all together.
We headed down and got breakfast, then gathered our bags and left for the airport. Sinner had been quiet the whole way and had barely spoken at breakfast.
“So, have you decided if you’re coming back with us yet?” I asked as we pulled up in the cab.
“I don’t know,” he said as he stared out the window to the entrance of the airport.
“I already called dibs on you, so don’t even think about going back to work for Cash.” Sebastian got out of the cab and grabbed the bags from the trunk. I picked up Sinner’s hand and held it in my own.
“Please don’t push Cara away. She wants to be with you. You just have to let her in.”
I glanced out the window to see Sebastian glaring at me holding Sinner’s hand.
“Take it from me, there’s only so much a woman can take before she decides that she’s had enough.”
I got out of the cab and walked through the doors. I didn’t know if I would be able to stand a flight back to Pennsylvania with Sebastian glaring at me. It was bad enough that he wouldn’t talk to me, but sitting next to him as he stewed over whatever he was brooding about was almost worse.

✯✯✯✯✯

We walked through the doors to Sebastian’s house late that afternoon and I headed straight for a beer. I hadn’t wanted to come back here, but Sebastian insisted that we talk when we got back, which had surprised me. I drank down half the bottle before Sebastian stepped into the kitchen and tore the bottle from my mouth.
“What the hell?”
His mouth was on mine seconds later and he was shoving his tongue in my mouth, leaving no room for argument. I was defenseless against him and I always had been. No matter how hard I tried to resist, I couldn’t stop myself from giving in to his touch.
He was rough as he yanked my shirt up over my head and pushed down the cup of my bra, latching on with his teeth and sucking hard. I moaned in ecstasy and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. I flung my head back as my eyes fluttered shut, pushing my chest into his hot, wet mouth.
His hand snaked around my back and gripped on tight to my ass. He lifted me with one hand and I willingly wrapped my legs around his body. Fumbling between us, I did my best to reach his zipper, but my body was in the way. Knowing what I needed, he practically dropped me and grabbed my face, kissing me desperately as I unzipped his jeans and pulled out his hard cock. I stroked him eagerly, wanting to feel his hard length inside me, pounding until I screamed out my orgasm.
It wasn’t long before my pants were gone and I was bare in front of him. He lifted me again and speared me with his cock, making me feel every inch of him inside me. His thrusts were hard and jerky as he fought to balance me and fuck me at the same time. When his fingers rubbed my clit, I couldn’t hold back anymore. My core tightened around him and I shattered, screaming his name over and over. A few more hard thrusts and he was coming with me, biting down on my shoulder as he spilled inside me.
His breath fanned across my skin as he held me close and the pounding of my own heart took several minutes to slow. My body slid down his when I felt I could hold myself upright again. I pulled back and looked up into his eyes, needing to see something to tell me that this was more than just him fucking me, that I meant something more than just the woman he loved. I needed to be the woman he couldn’t live without. I needed to know that I hadn’t given up my entire world for a man that wouldn’t give me more.
After a minute, he stepped back and ran a hand over his short hair and pulled up his pants. I wasn’t sure what to think, but it felt like he was pulling away again. I didn’t know how much longer I could deal with this uncertainty.
“Sebastian, please tell me there’s more.”
“More? I just fucked you. Give a guy a break.” He huffed out a laugh, but I didn’t laugh along.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
He sighed and looked away. “You know I love you.”
“Then why can’t you give me more?”
He turned to me and narrowed his gaze. “Why can’t you ever listen or ask for help? Why do I always have to chase you down?”
“You knew this about me from the moment we met.”
“I thought you were done running,” he said angrily. “I thought that when you came here, you were coming to be with me, but you keep chasing what you left behind.”
“Because you haven’t offered me more!” I threw on my t-shirt and pulled on my panties. “How can I stay here when you haven’t once talked about anything more than what we already are? It’s like we haven’t moved forward at all!”
“I wanted to.” He beat his chest with his fist and took a step toward me. “I wanted so much more with you, but I can’t even consider that when you always have one foot out the door.”
This was going nowhere fast. I sighed and ran a hand over my eyes. I was exhausted from the trip and I just wanted a break.
“I think we need to take a break,” I said wearily.
He sucked in a breath and blew it out. “I think that’s for the best. Maybe with some time, we’ll both know what it is we want.”
I jerked my head up and my mouth dropped open. “I meant ‘let’s go to bed and sleep on this’.”
“And what will that accomplish? Are you going to tell me in the morning that you’ve had an epiphany and decided that you won’t run anymore? That you want to stay here with me and make this work?”
I blinked for a few seconds before anger took over. “I was thinking that when you woke up in the morning, you would realize what an ass you were being and you would realize that I’ve always loved you and I want only you!”
“Maybe you should have thought about all that before you started shoving your relationship with Sinner in my face,” he shot back.
“I have no relationship with Sinner. We’re friends and you’ve always been jealous of him. Even now, he has a woman he loves and you just can’t let it go!”
“I’ve made my peace with Sinner-”
“Just not with me. Bros before hoes and all that.”
“He wasn’t the one that goaded me.”
I gasped in shock. What. An. Ass.
“You want a break to figure this all out? I’ll give you such a big break, the Grand Canyon will look like a crack in the pavement!”
I stormed up to our room and grabbed the last duffel I had and packed everything I could. Most of my other stuff was at Becky’s, but I wouldn’t be coming back here if I could avoid it. When I was done, I zipped up the bag and stormed down the stairs, heading for my car.
“Going somewhere?” he asked from where he sat at the kitchen table. I continued toward the front door.
“Anywhere is better than here.”
“Aren’t you forgetting that your car isn’t here?”
I turned around and glared at him. “I’ll walk.” I turned and slammed out the door, not bothering to turn around when I heard the door open or when he started yelling for me.
“Freckles! Get your ass back here!”
I raised a finger over my head and kept walking. If he wanted to end things between us, I wasn’t going to walk away quietly.
I heard his footsteps running up behind me, so I quickened my pace. His large hand wrapped around my arm and he spun me around to face him.
“You haven’t heard a fucking word I’ve said. You know it’s dangerous to be walking around now that it’s getting dark and yet you’re doing it anyway.”
“I’d do just about anything to get away from you now.”
He let go of my arm and pushed back from me. “If you walk away, don’t bother coming back. I can’t deal with this shit anymore.”
I took a step back, not wanting to leave and end this, but unable to stay in an unhappy relationship anymore. His eyes shuttered with the second step I took and then he hung his head as I continued to step toward the road.
“Take care of yourself, Sebastian.”
I turned and walked away, not sure what I was going to do from here, but knowing that for the time being, I was making the best decision for me.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Seriously? You and boss man still haven’t gotten your shit together?” Becky asked as she opened the door to her apartment.
I pushed past her, dragging my duffel with me. I already had a room set up here with my other things. I had never planned on staying so long, and I told Becky that when I got back from California I was going to try to work things out with Sebastian.
“We broke up,” I said sullenly as I flung my duffel to the ground and headed for the liquor cabinet. It was really just a cabinet in her kitchen where she kept all her alcohol. I grabbed a bottle of Jack as she stared on with her arms crossed.
“You know, I thought that at some point you were going to leave.”
I drank down a shot and glared at her. “Don’t worry. I’ll be leaving soon.”
“Where are you going?”
“Back to Pittsburgh.”
She came over and poured herself a shot. “Damn. I thought you two would work it out.”
“Me too, but he put a chip on me like a dog, so he could track my movements.”
“Did you really expect something different? You know Cap likes control.”
“Well, yeah, but I never thought he would take it to this level.”
“He never thought he would have to,” she grumbled.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Becky poured another drink and slid it over to me and then poured herself another. “It means that as much as you say you want to be here working inside the Reed Security building, you run off every chance you get. Everyone knows what kind of trouble you get into when you run off to chase a story.”
“I can take care of myself.”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “Maggie, you know I love you, but you run into things without thinking the whole thing through.”
“I know how to shoot. Sinner has been taking me for almost two years now. I’m good,” I said indignantly.
“You are good, but you’re not a trained operative. Even they get injured. Just look at Cal and Cazzo.”
I flinched, knowing that Cal got shot because of me. No matter how much I told myself that if it hadn’t been me, it would have been Sebastian they were aiming for, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was responsible for his death.
“Those guys were trained and now Cal is dead and Cazzo can’t walk. A bullet doesn’t care how trained you are and you can’t outrun it.”
“Look, it’s not like I try to get myself in situations that are dangerous.”
“Then why do you always sneak off? You never tell anyone where you’re going. You’re just here one minute and gone the next.”
“Because when those guys are with me, they treat me like I’m fragile, like I can’t take care of myself. It’s not that I don’t understand the risks; I do. That’s why I do it. I like to chase down stories and I like the danger. I don’t have a death wish or anything. It’s just the way I am. Why is that not okay for me, but it is for them?”
“Well, first of all, every single one of those men love you like a sister and would sooner take a bullet for you than see you hit by one. Second, boss man loves you very much. He looks angry when you take off on your own, but I see the worry in his eyes. I know what that feels like, to know that the person you love has left and you don’t know if they’ll return in a body bag or walk through the door and give you a kiss. It’s a terrible way to live.”
Becky had never opened up to me that way. I examined her face a little closer and saw there was pain there, but she hid it well.
“Who was he?”
“It doesn’t matter. The point is, I get where Sebastian’s coming from. It’s hard to know that someone you love is so careless with his life or hers,” she looked at me.
“But he does it every day!”
“Yes, but he has a team and they take every precaution and sometimes it still doesn’t go their way. You run out like you can do it all on your own. He would go with you in a second if you would just let him.”
I took another shot of Jack and let the burn coarse down to my belly. “It doesn’t matter anymore. He told me if I walked away, not to come back.”
“You can’t really believe he meant that.”
I looked up into her wide, blue eyes. “I know he did.”