Sean

Sean

Chapter 1

Vira’s heavy breathing filled the room, reminding me once again how wild she was in bed. Her long, black hair lay spread over the bed and her olive toned skin glimmered with a fine sheen of sweat. Thick, black eyelashes fluttered as her breathing returned to normal. Her plump, full lips begged me to kiss her until I exhausted myself in her. I couldn’t get enough of this woman. Ever since I met her, I needed her. She was everything I wanted in bed, but not so much out of bed. She refused to have any kind of intimate relationship with me, or anyone else. 

Vira was one hundred percent against relationships. She’d had a boyfriend when I met her, but she insisted on it being an open relationship. The guy had been fine with it at first, but once he realized how amazing Vira was, he pushed for more, and that had been the point that she walked away. 

I had been through a lot with this woman. Her best friend, Cece, had hatched a plan with her to get revenge on Cece’s now husband and my friend, Logan. It had worked in the sense that she got her revenge, but somewhere in the middle, they’d fallen in love and were now married and had a little girl. 

Part of me hoped that I could be the one that would change Vira’s mind and have her commit to me. I kept thinking that if I showed up and made her see how great I was that she would finally open her eyes and commit to me. When Vira was shot at a nightclub, I took her home and did my best to care for her, but even then, she didn’t want me helping her. So here I was, a year and a half later, still pining away for a woman that would never give me what I wanted.

“Thanks for stopping by, Sean. I needed that.”

“Sure. What plans do you have for the weekend?”

“Well, now that Cece has a newborn at home, I guess I have to find some new friends to hang out with.”

“Why don’t you let me take you out? We can grab some dinner and go dancing at the club.”

“Yeah, we can do that. As long as it’s not a date.”

Shit. She always added that in. It was like a knife to the heart every fucking time. I wasn’t sure why I stuck around. Was it the great sex? We were explosive in bed and she knew what I liked. She was always up for trying anything.

Then again, it could be her personality. She was fun and didn’t take shit from anyone. She didn’t care that I was a cop. That didn’t make her wary around me or make her feel like she had to be on guard at all times. In fact, when I first started seeing her, she had been doing some illegal shit to get Logan in trouble. She didn’t even care when I found out. She told me that she would do anything for Cece and if I didn’t like it, I could lock her up.

That was another thing about Vira. She was fiercely loyal to the people she cared about, which now included all of my friends. That was one of the things that made our relationship so difficult. If I decided to move on, I would still see her at get togethers. Then I would have to see the next man that became her fuck buddy and I really didn’t want to lose my badge by shooting whoever the dumb fuck would be. Whoever he was, he wouldn’t be good enough for Vira.

“You can leave now.”

I was pulled out of my thoughts when she said that. She never let me stick around to hang out. Once we were done, I was expected to leave.

“Do you have something you need to do?”

“No. I’m going to watch some movies and veg out.”

“I don’t have to be at work until ten. I can hang out-”

“Sean, don’t do this. You know the rules. If you keep pulling this shit, we can’t sleep together anymore.”

I rolled over and caged her thin frame with my large one. Despite my size, I never could intimidate her. I ran my nose along hers and then over her cheek to her ear.

“One of these days, you’re not going to be able to push me away anymore.”

Before she could say anything, I pressed my mouth to hers and slid my tongue inside. I kissed her breathless while I ground my growing erection into her cunt. When she started to wrap her legs around my waist, I pulled back.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m tired of just being your fuck buddy. You know I want more, so you’re going to have to give me something if you want this to continue. I’m not asking for all of you, just give me something.”

“I can’t.”

She didn’t even hesitate. There was no change in her eyes telling me that she didn’t mean what she was saying. Her heart rate didn’t increase and her breathing didn’t change. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what this woman was holding back for. She never shared, but insisted that this was just the way she wanted her life to be.

With no sign that I could break through to her, I decided that I was going to have to move on. I just couldn’t keep torturing myself anymore. I nodded and started gathering my clothes.

“So what time will I see you Saturday? We could go to the new steakhouse outside of town.”

“I won’t be here.”

Her confused expression made me laugh humorlessly. She really didn’t get it. She didn’t understand that she was stomping on my heart and then asking me to just go on like we didn’t mean anything to one another.

“I don’t understand. You said you wanted to go out, so what changed?”

“What changed is that I’m not going to be the schmuck that waits around for you anymore. I can’t. It’s been a year and a half and I can’t get any more from you than a quick lay and a night at the club. You don’t even share normal details of your life with me.”

“Like what? You want to know about my day?”

“Well, yeah. That would be nice. The most I know about your job is that you manage a club that you hate. You don’t tell me why you hate it or even what your work day is normally like.”

“And what would be the point of that? That stuff’s all boring. Do you really want to come see me at the end of the day and have me tell you every minute detail of my day?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because I care about you and I want to know what drives you, what makes you happy, why you stay in a job you hate. The only reason I know your last name is because I checked you out. Would it really be so awful to share those details?”

“No. It’s not, but it’s just not who I am. I’m sorry, Sean, but that’s not something I can offer.”

I shook my head in frustration. I pulled on my jeans and let them hang on my hips as I searched for my socks and shoes. I was surprised she actually let me get completely undressed this time.

“So that’s it? You’re just going to stop seeing me because you don’t get your way?”

“This isn’t about me not getting my way. This is about me finally seeing that you are a selfish person that doesn’t care about anyone but herself. You may think you care about others, and up until a few minutes ago, I thought you did too. But now I see that you just don’t have it in you to truly care about how your actions affect others.”

“Sean, don’t be so dramatic.”

I pulled on the last of my clothes and headed for the door. “Do me a favor, if you see me around town, go the other direction so I don’t have to see you.”

With that, I walked out of the room and slammed the door on the worst relationship I’d ever had. It was time to move on with my life.