Drew

Iris. I swear I could feel her on the breeze, standing here in the serenity of the country. She was my life, my dreams, my love, my wife, but above all that, she was my reason for being. I closed my eyes as memories of the smell of her perfume wafted around me, pulling me into a daydream of her walking toward me and teasing me. I could see her beautiful, huge smile that lit up my whole world. Her sharp, blue eyes sparkled as she gazed at me, my chest aching, knowing this was all a dream. Still, I kept my eyes closed, relishing in every piece of her I took with me six years ago. Her long, chestnut hair was blowing in the breeze as she walked closer to me, her voice floating in the wind. I could feel her hand resting against my chest as she leaned in to whisper in my ear. 

“I’m forever yours, Drew. Nothing can take me from you.”

I could still hear those words she spoke to me that day at our house. Those were the last words she ever said to me and they haunted me to this day. It was a beautiful sentiment, but it didn’t come true. She died a few days after she spoke those words to me. She was taken from me and there was nothing that could ever bring her back no matter how hard I prayed. Believe me, I tried. For three weeks, I prayed that God would return her to me, but he didn’t and I couldn’t stay there anymore. It was too painful to be around all her things and live in the house that we were supposed to grow old in together. I sold everything except our wedding rings, which now had a permanent residence on a chain around my neck.

I stood on my porch, basking in the feel of Iris, while the sun rose in front of me. It was our favorite time of day together. We would sit outside with a cup of coffee and I would watch her as her beautiful face lit up as she talked to me about the beauty of the morning. Iris was an eternal optimist and found a reason to wake up smiling every morning. I kept our tradition even though she was no longer with me. It kept me calm to start my day like this. 

“Excuse me. Can you help me?”

My daydream shattered, I ground my teeth together as anger flooded me. Every moment that I got to spend with my sweet Iris was a moment I cherished. This intruder had ripped her from me when I was feeling closest to her once again. I spun around and cast an angry glare at the woman who had interrupted my thoughts. She flinched back at my harsh stare and then stuttered, trying to get out her sentence.

“I..I’m so..sorry. I just n-need a hand with my car. I need a…a jump.”

She quickly looked to the ground and it annoyed me that she couldn’t maintain eye contact. She interrupted me. I had finally found my peace out here in the country. I had finally found some place that I could stand to stick around for more than a year and now I had an annoying neighbor that would always be around to intrude on that peace. 

I had been living in town with Harper, a woman that I met when I first came to this town. She was in a hard place when I met her and I instantly felt a connection with her. We comforted each other when we had no one else. Eventually, she got back together with her ex-boyfriend, Jack, and they now had a child together.

After Harper moved out of our rented house, I stayed until the lease was up. Since I had decided to stick around, I thought it best to find my own place in the peace of the country. I had found a nice, old farmhouse that dated back to the early 1900’s on fifty acres of land. I was a country boy at heart and always had been, but these last six years of running had left me lost. I was beginning to lose sight of my Iris until I found this place. I had her back for brief moments in time that I wouldn’t give up for anyone. 

Iris and I met in my hometown of Florida, right by the Alabama border. We both grew up in the country and had always dreamed of buying a house in the country with a ton of acreage that would be all ours, where we could enjoy the solitude and watch the sun rise and set. That’s what this place gave me. 

After a minute of staring the woman down, I finally started walking back toward the house, pulling my keys out of my pocket and getting in my truck. I didn’t wait for her to hitch a ride with me. I wasn’t offering. I drove over to her car and hooked everything up, then leaned against my truck, waiting for her battery to charge. 

I had the unfortunate luck of sharing a driveway with my neighbor. Apparently, the people that owned the property before me were brothers. They both lived in my house and farmed the land together. They had a falling out, but couldn’t split up the land without ruining their income. So, they continued to farm the land together, but one brother moved out and built the small house on the other side of the driveway. There was never a need for another driveway, so they continued to live on the same land, farm the same land, and share the same driveway, but live in separate houses. When the brother in the smaller house decided to retire, he bought his parcel of land from his brother. I, of course, assumed that it was all part of my property.

Her house was to the left of the driveway and it was an old, rundown one story that looked like it should just be bulldozed. The yellow paint was peeling off the siding and the roof was sagging from years of neglect. The houses had been abandoned for quite some time when I purchased the property. Luckily, she only owned about a half acre of the land, mainly where the house was situated. At least I didn’t need to worry about her wandering over to my property. She had a small yard in the back with a few trees that looked like they were as old as my house, but she had space for herself.

The woman moved in shortly after I did, and since I had assumed that the house was part of my property, I was completely shocked when she pulled in and started unloading. I had been so entranced by the view that I hadn’t heard everything the realtor had said. I had just signed on the dotted line and moved my stuff in with the intention of bulldozing the monstrosity next door.

She walked up next to her car and looked like a kitten would scare her. I hadn’t meant to be such a dick, but well, maybe I did mean to be a dick. She pissed me off. It wasn’t really her fault. I hadn’t been listening to the realtor, but still, it pissed me off that this woman had the nerve to intrude on my peace and quiet. Every time I saw her, I was reminded that this was supposed to be my land with Iris. I was not supposed to be sharing my land with a woman who could barely string together a sentence without squirming under my stare.

I watched her shuffling around by her car, her slender frame looked like it would blow over in a stiff breeze, which around here was very likely. She had dull, brown hair that she had haphazardly thrown up in a knot on top of her head. She had dark brown eyes that widened when she looked up at me and a small nose that could easily get lost on her face. Her mouth was about the most attractive thing about her. She had nice, full lips with a nice set of teeth. Wow. Pretty bad when you’re describing a woman’s best quality as a nice set of teeth. Her boobs and ass were way too small. Overall, she was just a tiny woman that did nothing for me. No woman had done anything for me since my wife, but still, this woman couldn’t get me hard if she was completely naked. In fact, it would probably make her less appealing.

She mumbled something and I assumed she was trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t understand her when her head was facing the ground.

“Did you say something to me?” I snapped. I didn’t have patience for meek people. That’s partly why Harper and I got along so great. Although, based on how we met, things could have been different, but she always tried for a smile. This woman looked like someone ran over her cat five or six times. 

“I said, I appreciate the help. I have to be in town in a half hour. Thank you.”

When she was done speaking, she looked back at the ground, willing it to swallow her up. I stepped toward her and she instantly stepped back like I was going to attack her. Rolling my eyes in annoyance, I walked to her car and turned the key. The engine started with a putter and finally got going. It was a piece of shit, but that wasn’t any of my business. I got my stuff and drove back over to my house without another word.

My two story farm house was in need of some fixing up, but was exactly what I had pictured when I started looking for a place. There was a wrap around porch that currently had one white rocking chair. The porch on the back was large and extended out further than the front and side porch. It was obviously built on at a later date than the original porch. I didn’t mind, though. It gave me space for grilling in the summer. The outside was painted white and I would have to repaint it this summer to make it look nice, as well as stain the deck.

I went inside my house and stared at the sparse state of my new dwellings. When you entered the house, the staircase was straight ahead with a hallway on the side that led to the back of the house. Off to the right was the kitchen. It was pretty basic and still had the appliances from the previous owner. I was shocked to find that they still worked after all this time. I had a small, wood table that had four wooden chairs, where I ate all my meals. There was a dining room at the back of the house, but it was currently an empty space. 

To the left of the entryway was the living room with a built in hutch and fireplace. The room was one of my favorite because of how authentic it was. The original wood floors were still in good shape and there were wooden pillars with waist high bookcases on either side that divided the living room from the study behind it. 

The stairs creaked practically all the way upstairs and I found that I also liked that feature of the house. It gave the house character. Still, I would probably end up fixing it at some point. The upstairs had three bedrooms and one bathroom. All the bedrooms were medium sized and plain, which was the norm for the period when the house was built. 

I didn’t have any furniture other than a bed. I didn’t need much, but still, this place was empty. I hadn’t felt a need to put down roots since Iris died. I lived off what I had because it felt like I was moving on if I actually settled somewhere. I had Harper now, though. She wasn’t mine, but she was the closest thing I had to family and I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her. I had been living here a few weeks and it was about time I actually got something to fill the space. Buying a house was hard enough, but actually filling it with furniture was like a nail in Iris’ coffin. I was finally admitting that she wouldn’t be coming back to me, but I knew it was time. Iris would be pissed at me if I spent any more of my days drifting. I grabbed my keys and called Harper.

“Hey, Drew.”

“Hey, buttercup. I have a favor to ask.”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I need furniture for my place. You got time to do a little shopping with me?”

“Drew, are you asking me to decorate your house?”

“No. No, I’m not. I’m asking you to help me pick out furniture. I don’t need any decorating, just a few items so I actually have a place to sit.”

“Come pick me up. I’ll leave Ethan with Jack.”

“On my way, darlin’.”

I headed out to my truck and drove over to Jack and Harper’s house. I waited in the truck because I was now in a foul mood from being interrupted earlier. Harper got in the truck and scooted directly over into the center seat to sit next to me. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her in close, then waved to Jack as we pulled out of the driveway. Jack was a good guy and an even better man for allowing me such close contact with his wife. He knew that Harper and I had a special bond that couldn’t be broken and he gave me a lot of leeway.

When I first came to town, Harper and I were so instantly connected that we slept in the same bed the first night. There was no chemistry between us. It was just two lost souls being there for one another. I found comfort holding her in my arms, something I hadn’t done since my Iris passed away. Harper was devastated from her break up from Jack and needed me just as much. We were still just as close today and I often found myself taking a nap with her on a Sunday, unless her son, Ethan, needed her. I had to admit, sometimes I was jealous of the little guy. 

We went to the local furniture store where Harper talked me into buying a kitchen table and chairs, a leather sofa, a leather recliner, entertainment center and tv, a coffee table, and a dresser and nightstand set for my bedroom. I dropped a lot of money in there, but since I had been living so meagerly over the last six years, I had the life insurance money from Iris, and I had the money from the life I sold, I didn’t have to worry about money right now. The furniture would all be delivered tomorrow, so I thanked Harper and dropped her back at her house.

I headed home and saw that my neighbor was back from her trip to town and was now unloading groceries. I parked my truck and was getting out when I saw the bag of groceries she was carrying break and all the food spilled to the ground. She knelt down and started to pick up the groceries, but then stopped and sat down on her butt with her head in her hands. I could see her shoulders shaking, I assumed from crying. Everything in my gut told me to leave her sitting there on the ground, but if it was Harper, I would want someone to help her. So I headed over that way and started picking up her groceries and placing them in the other bags. I stalled when I picked up a bottle of prenatal vitamins. 

“Knocked up, huh? You know who the father is?”

Her face jerked up to mine and her eyes blazed in fury. She pulled herself up off the ground and grabbed them from my hand. I grabbed two bags and hauled them inside, then returned for the rest. I ignored her as she glared at me. Whatever; my good deed was done and I was going home. She didn’t even thank me. Although, I guess I did insult her, so maybe I didn’t deserve a thank you. 

I walked back to my place and tried to figure out what it was about her that had me being so nasty to her. Maybe it was because she was the total opposite of Iris and I wanted my Iris back badly right now. I wasn’t gonna dwell on it. I walked in and fixed myself dinner, then sat on my back porch drinking beer as the sun set. My mind drifted to our first night in our house in Florida.

“I’m exhausted, Drew. Don’t make me do any more work today.”

“I got it baby. I think we’re mostly done anyway. Why don’t you go take a bath and then meet me out on the back porch.”

“Oh, that sounds like heaven right now.”

I went to the garage and grabbed the table and chairs and set them up on the back porch. Then I went back and got the loungers. One of them broke when I tried to pull it out, so I just brought the one over. I grabbed some cereal, milk, and bowls and headed outside. We didn’t have much unpacked yet, so this would have to do for dinner. Iris came outside and sat down at the table in shorts and a t-shirt. 

“Sorry, baby. This is all we have available to eat right now.”

“It’ll do. All I need is you and I’m set for life.”

“Baby, you say such sweet things.” I poured us each a bowl and we ate in silence as the sun set. Then we went to snuggle on the lounger. She laid between my legs, rubbing her hands over my knees.

“Drew, I have a move in surprise for you.”

“Baby, that’s so sweet. I didn’t get you anything. Now I feel like an ass.”

“No need. This is something you gave me.”

I looked at her in confusion. She got me a present, but it was something I gave her. I was wracking my brain trying to think of gifts that I had given her that she could give back to me, but none came to mind.

“Drew, I’m pregnant. You’re gonna be a daddy.”

My world stopped right then and there. My throat closed up and I felt like my heart would beat right out of my chest. I was going to be a daddy. There were never sweeter words than that. 

“Baby, that’s the best news I’ve ever gotten.” My smile spread across my face so big that my cheeks hurt.

“So, you’re not mad?”

“Not one bit.” I kissed her and made sweet love to her that night under the stars. 

Tears rolled down my face as I stared at the sky. Out here it didn’t matter if I cried. No one could see me in the dark. That was one of the best nights of my life, but it was short lived. We never had that baby. I never got to meet him or her. My life was torn away from me less than a year later and I still couldn’t fathom how God could be so cruel. We had only been married for a year when she told me she was pregnant. 

I pulled out my phone and put on Elton John. He had always been her favorite artist and I put him on whenever I wanted to feel close to her. I didn’t even like him, but she always sang along to his music, her favorite being Your Song. She said it was one of the most romantic songs she had ever heard. When it came on, the tears came faster and I totally lost it there in the darkness. My chest hurt so bad, aching to hold her again. I wanted one more kiss from her, one more “I love you”. I needed more time with my sweet Iris. 

When the song was over, I turned my phone off. That was enough for one night. Any more and I would need a strong drink to get through the night. I looked up to heaven and said a prayer for my Iris and our little one. 

“Goodnight, sweet Iris. Until I hold you in my arms again.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Work flew by this week. I had been working at Ryan and Logan’s construction company for about a year now and I found the work somewhat satisfying. It wasn’t my dream job, but it kept me busy, which was the main purpose of me having a job. I didn’t need the money, but I needed to keep my mind busy. I could probably find something to do with myself that would be more satisfying, but I honestly didn’t have the ambition. I was still too wrapped up in my own grief to do anything else with my life. 

My furniture had been delivered Sunday and I had to admit, it was nice to finally have something of my own. The guys invited me out for drinks tonight and I really didn’t want to go, but the thought of sitting around my house doing nothing with nobody was depressing. We met down at The Pub that had been newly renovated after the fire at New Year’s, and I ordered tequila. It was probably not a good idea, but moving into the new house had been hard for me. 

The guys laughed about things going on at work and they took turns ragging on each other about their significant others. Ryan and Sebastian didn’t have girlfriends, so they were doing most of the teasing. Me, however, I drank. Hearing them all talk about their girlfriends and wives depressed me. By the time we had been there a few hours, I was way past drunk. 

Sebastian had left about an hour ago with a woman that had come over and blatantly flirted with him. Jack left also to go home to his wife. Apparently, he couldn’t stand to be away from Harper for the night. I should have gone over to see Harper instead of coming here.

“Drew, right?”

A mousy brunette stood in front of me and even in my drunken state, I could see it was my neighbor.

“What the fuck do you want? And why are you in a bar if you’re pregnant?”

She blushed furiously and looked down at her hands.

“Dude, what the fuck is your problem?” Ryan asked.

“I actually just came in to fill out an application.”

Cole spoke up. “I think they’re still looking for someone since Alex isn’t here anymore.”

“Who’s Alex?” neighbor lady asked.

“My girlfriend,” Cole answered sharply. “She got hurt and she can’t work anymore right now. I’m sure they’ll be grateful for your application. I’ll introduce you to the boss.”

She gave a small smile and said her thanks as Cole guided her away. I slammed back another shot of tequila and was waving down the waitress for another, when Ryan cut in.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough, Drew?”

“Not nearly enough,” I slurred. Normally I didn’t get drunk, but all this talk about girlfriends had fucked with my head and I just wanted to forget.

“Come on. I’ll drive you home.”

“I can take him home if you want. He’s my neighbor. I’m Sarah.”

Ryan shook her hand and introduced himself. “That’s fine by me. Are you sure you can get him in the house?” 

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. It wouldn’t be the first drunk I’ve dealt with.”

She blushed as she said it and looked down, like she hadn’t meant to reveal that. Ryan grabbed my keys and then grabbed me by the arm, dragging me out to her shitty car. I barely fit in the front seat because I was so large. I was a tall guy and I worked out, so I was quite muscular. This was like fitting a block of cheese into a toilet paper roll. 

“I’ll bring your truck in the morning,” Ryan said as he walked away. I flung my middle finger up, hitting the door frame and jamming my finger.

“Son of a bitch.”

I saw Sarah roll her eyes at me before peeling out of the parking lot. She drove like a maniac and I was pretty sure I would die tonight. Thank God I was numbed from the alcohol. I wouldn’t feel a thing. We were pulling into the driveway when Your Song came on the radio.

“Not again,” I grumbled.

“What?”

“Why the fuck does this have to be on the radio?”

I stumbled from the car and threw my hands up toward the sky. “Are you trying to give me a fucking message?”

“What are you talking about?” I turned around to see Sarah looking at me in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“She fucking left me, that’s what’s going on. Now I hear that fucking song everywhere I go.”

My words were slurring and my walking was even worse. I’d be lucky if I got in the house at this rate. Sarah grabbed my arm and helped inside, plopping me down on the couch before disappearing. I closed my eyes and my sweet Iris appeared before me.

“Drew, what are you doing? You’re better than this.”

“Why did you leave me, Iris? I’m so lost without you,” I whispered to her. She looked so beautiful and I wanted so badly to believe she was real. I reached out for her and I could swear I felt her hand touching mine. “Iris, why’d you leave me?”

“Drew, I’m forever yours. Nothing can take me from you.”

Tears streamed from my eyes as I felt her hand on my face. God was torturing me by allowing me to feel her. God, I could feel her. Her skin was just as soft as it ever was. My mind drifted to blackness as she faded from my vision.