Four Horsemen

1st Chapter:

I need to see you immediately.

I stared down at the text with a huge grin on my face. It had been days since I’d seen my best friend Jack. Ever since we were little kids, we’d spent every waking moment together. We were neighbors growing up, and as kids, we spent our days outside in the mud and our nights huddled up under blankets watching movies. 

He’d been there for me through everything. He was my first kiss under the stars at prom. And even though he’d only kissed me because neither of us had kissed anyone, I knew at that moment we were meant to be together. 

When my appendix burst, he was there for me every day, taking care of me and making sure I was comfortable. On my twenty-first birthday, he took me dancing and drinking. We’d been to every county fair together and all our firsts were with each other. Everything, except for sex. But it was our day to day lives that stayed with me the most. Those little moments that everyone else took for granted were something I deeply cherished. 

I never thought I would have a best friend like him. My parents adored him, my friends wished they were me, and I was hopelessly in love with him. Every smile, every time his hand touched my back, I fell deeper. He was everything to me. 

And then he met Natalie. Slowly, our lives changed. He spent more time with her, kissing her in front of me and lighting up when she walked in the room. It broke my heart. But the absolute worst was when I found out he slept with her. He was twenty-five, so it didn’t exactly surprise me. In fact, he’d probably slept with other women also. The difference was, I didn’t know about it. And the only reason I found out he slept with her was because I walked in on them the morning after.

I was broken-hearted, but I played it off as being embarrassed. Then Natalie started taking even more of my time with him. She even made a comment joking to me once that Jack would never be fully committed to her as long as I was in the picture.

I certainly hoped so.

Around the time he met Natalie, his friend Josh disappeared. His personality changed a lot, but I stuck with him, doing anything I could to be there for him. But in the end, it was Natalie he turned to. And recently, he had changed even more. He canceled plans with me to spend time with her. Seeing each other daily didn’t happen anymore. In fact, the last time I saw him was over a week ago. I was going through serious withdrawals.

I grabbed my purse and headed out of my apartment, so excited to finally see him. Driving over to his place, I tried to figure out what his text meant. He needed to see me immediately. What if he was breaking up with her? Was it possible that he’d finally come to his senses? I knew they had been fighting recently. Perhaps that’s why I hadn’t seen him in a week.

I parked outside his house he bought just six months ago and rushed toward the door. Trying to keep the ridiculous grin off my face, I took a few calming breaths before knocking. But the moment he swung open that door and smiled at me, I threw myself into his arms. 

He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. “It’s nice to see you, too.”

I squeezed him tight, missing this so much. I almost felt like I was going to cry. Stepping back, I slapped him on the shoulder. “It’s been over a week.”

He shot me that sexy grin that always made me crumble at his feet. “I’m sorry. I’ve been busy with a few things. Besides, it wasn’t that long.”

“I beg to differ. A week is like lightyears for us. I felt like an addict going through withdrawal.”

He chuckled as I walked into his house, tossing my purse on the counter. He shut the door behind me and walked around me, grabbing his Coke off the counter. “So, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” I said, trying not to smile too brightly. Butterflies took flight in my stomach. I couldn’t believe this was finally happening. 

He snatched my hand and pulled me over to the couch with him. “Let’s sit down. This is important.”

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my shit. After all these years, he was finally going to tell me he was leaving Natalie, that I was the one for him. I just knew it. It had always been the two of us. It just took him a while longer to realize that Natalie was just a fill-in for the person he really needed in his life.

He took my hand, gently rubbing his thumb over the back of it. I watched the motion, getting choked up already. I had waited so long for this. He’d tell me he loved me, that I was the one for him. And then he’d scoop me up into his arms and take me into his bedroom. We’d make love and everything would be perfect, just like in the movies. 

“Christy, you know I’ve been seeing Natalie for a while now.” He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “You know, things have been…well, it’s time for a change.”

My face lit up in excitement and anticipation. 

He looked up at me earnestly, his eyes melting me with just one look. “I’m going to ask Natalie to marry me.”

The flutters in my stomach instantly turned to dread. I still felt like I might throw up, but for different reasons now. My stomach bottomed out the longer I stared at him. He was serious. He was really going to ask her to marry him. 

“You’re…you’re going to ask her to marry you?” I said, stumbling over my words.

“Yeah,” he huffed out a laugh. “Don’t look so shocked. We’ve been dating for almost three years.”

My eyes felt like they were just floating around the room, unable to focus on one thing. My mouth was gaping, and I knew I looked like an idiot, but I was in shock. How could he do this to me? I thought he was going to tell me he loved me, and instead, he was breaking my heart.

I blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t break down in front of him. I couldn’t let him see how much he had just crushed me.

“Are you going to say something?”

“It’s just…such a shock.”

“Is it really?”

I wanted to yell It is to me! How had I not seen this coming? What I had assumed was them growing more distant because of fighting wasn’t that at all. He was in love with her. I gasped slightly, covering my mouth with my hand. Pain shattered my insides the longer I sat here with him. He squeezed my hand, hoping I would say something. To anyone else, this was the perfect ending. They were getting their happily ever after, and I was devastated.

Worse, I was mortified. For years, I had pined away for Jack, thinking one day he would be mine. How could two people as close as us not end up together? I always assumed that Natalie was a passing ship in the night, that their relationship would never go anywhere. How did I not see this coming?

I stood suddenly, ready to leave. He stood with me, his face turned down in a frown.

“That’s really great, Jack,” I forced out. 

He watched me uncertainly. “You’re not happy for me. Christy, this is the biggest moment of my life. I need my friend with me. I need your support. I need you to tell me I’m doing the right thing.”

I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. How could I support him when not only was he killing all of my hopes and dreams, but he was also marrying the woman responsible for tearing us apart?

“I…I think that if this is what you want,” I choked out, “then you should go for it.”

I hurried around him, rushing to grab my purse.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m late for work.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say to me?” I could hear how baffled he was by my reaction, which just made this even harder. 

“Jack,” I said, spinning around. “I think it’s really…really great. It’s everything you want, right?”

It hurt my heart just to say those words.

“Will you help me choose the ring?”

God, it was like he was asking me to kill myself. “You know, rings aren’t really my thing. Jewelry in general is just…you know…I’m not fashionable,” I said in a rush. “I wouldn’t know what a woman like Natalie would want. You should ask your mom for help.”

I turned and flung open the door, rushing down the steps.

“Christy!”

“I’ll see you later!” I called over my shoulder.

I got in my car and quickly started it as he walked down the steps. If he got any closer, he would see the tears already streaming down my face. I put the car in reverse and backed out quickly, throwing the car into drive. As I drove away, my vision blurred to the point that I had to pull over. I sat on the side of the road, pounding at the steering wheel as I sobbed. 

How could he do this to me? How could he not see how in love with him I was? 

“Because you never said anything,” I said to myself. “Because you assumed he already knew.”

I shook my head and wiped at my face. Looking in the mirror, I was all blotchy and gross. I drove back to my apartment and slowly trudged up the stairs. When I opened the door, everything in the apartment seemed to wither and die. I had so many memories here with Jack. He helped me move in. We carried the furniture up the stairs together. We laid on my bed at night and talked for hours. I’d cooked for him in my kitchen. 

How was I ever going to stay here and live with those memories while he ran off and got married? And how was I going to stay and watch it all unfold? 

I walked over to my desk and looked at the letter I received just yesterday. It was from a DCFS office in Chicago, formally offering me a position at that location. I had blown it off, thinking I would never move away from Jack. But now I realized this was my only chance at escape. I would never be happy in a town where Jack was married to another woman, where he had a family and was happy. I would be cut from his life, left to watch from a distance as he moved on without me. 

If I took this job, maybe my life would be different. Maybe I could move on and find someone of my own to love. It would never be the life I planned, but at least I wouldn’t have to see Jack every day, and wonder what it would be like to be in his arms every night.